I am prompted to pen down my thoughts on this issue because my friend has broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years and she is having a hard time with it.
I dont date because I am a wimp.. I am a coward. I am afraid to put my heart out in the open.. only to get it eventually stomped on. I don't think I am strong enough to move on.. Sure, life goes on and memories fade and new memories are formed.. but it will always be there.. That awkwardness.. that longing.. that intimacy.. How can you move on from something you thought was going to work out?
I see the pain she goes through and I feel it. She took all their pictures down and she just breaks down and cry. What can I say? What can I do? I can't take the pain away.. No one can.. except her.. or him.. and I don't see that happening any time soon. How do you remove something that has been incorporated into your life over such a long period of time? How can you make the pain go away?
How do you move on?
You can't-not without the pain.. and the sorrow.. and the perils.. and the empty longing for the same person who caused you so much misery.
Who's to say I will never get a boyfriend? Who knows. it might happen tomorrow.. Next month.. next year? or even 20 years from now? all i know is.. I dont wanna be vulnerable.. I dont want to feel the pain and heartache.. I dont wanna hurt..
More importantly.. I don't think I can handle being hurt..
I got one of those annoying mass forwarded emails the other day.. but this phrase caught my eye..
"No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry"
Rhetoric ain't it?
Maybe one day, I will find a guy who is worth the tears I will shed.. but till that day.. I am happy in my cocoon of singledom.. Yes, I guess it is nice to have someone there for you irregardless.. but as of right now.. i will have my family and friends. and if they don't suffice.. I dont know what else can..
So with my friend.. All i can do is be there for her. I can't make the pain go away.. all I can do is help her.. distract her.. be with her.. be strong with her. and just show her a way.. maybe MY way..
NanaBanana
2 comments:
How does one move on?
Surprisingly these are one of the areas in life not governed my mathematics, and is beyond the explanation of normal logical deduction. The truth is, I don't know either. You just do.....
The source of the pain does matter to a certain extent. It can be the drastic rejection of access to those warmth and nostalgia; or it can be the frustrations of knowing that in a relationship it takes two to tango. Each pain entails its own remedy; its own nuances and intricacies that are only uniquely prevalent to each former couple.
But whatever unique variations that exists, the general principle stays the same: moving on is done piece by piece, step by step and at its own pace. And its at this time when we take a step back to see things from a third person's perspective, we would sometimes be amazed at the resilience of the human heart....the ability for it to be broken again and again but somehow still find its own ways to mend back together again.
I guess you don't have to do much. Just being there suffice. Your sister was very kind to me in this respect. I'm sure she will feel the same. =)
Regards,
Jian Wei
The "she" in the last sentence was referring to your friend and not your sister.
Regards,
Jian Wei
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